her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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