And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
