SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
