Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
