Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
