I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
