Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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