Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
