Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
