Having a random hookup so left but love u
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
