paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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