cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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