let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
