Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
