I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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