She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
