i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
