seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
