Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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