Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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