Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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