i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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