AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
