Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So squirting runs in the family.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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