dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
