is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
