Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
