A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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