Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
