My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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