The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
