I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
