the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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