please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
