PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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