it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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