God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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