Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
