Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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