And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
