you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
