Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
