I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize