im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize