At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
