i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
