3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
