I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
North Korea, Best Korea!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize