how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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