I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
