Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
