Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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