He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
