All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize