Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
