You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
