tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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