I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
